


I'm Stuck On A Verse

by corinnemaree



Category: Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: F/M, musician au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7012849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corinnemaree/pseuds/corinnemaree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He had no intention for falling for Claire Dearing, she just happened to him." Musician, Owen Grady can only write songs about the the unrequited love from his childhood, Claire Dearing. Little does he know that things aren't as one sided as he may have thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not even sorry that I started a new AU. I just did this. It’s here, fucking like it okay. pls. Also, each chapter is named after a song, which i love a lot.

For Owen Grady, life was a revolving door of women. He loved them all, physically only, because a long time ago, his heart was taken. He had no intention for falling for Claire Dearing, she just happened to him. Childhood was where they met, a trick she played on his heart that he could never escape from. Owen never spoke about his crush, nor told anyone of it. It was foolish. The little red-head from down the street was the love of his life, he decided, and he was only six.

Growing up together was interesting, as Owen only really wanted to date Claire. He never asked, never quite expecting her to say yes. In high school, they were close friends, but when their group dwindled to just them at lunch, Claire acted as though she didn’t want to be around him. His courage and ego took a major blow. So, he never did, never dared break his own heart. 

Leaving his hometown with one of his close friends, Lowery Cruthers, they went to college and started a band. They met a bass player, Barry, along with a pianist and guitarist, Ricky. They became ‘Where Lightning Strikes’, and collected a following in college, with Owen involuntarily being the face of the band. It was something that came along with being the lead singer and guitarist. Their fame skyrocketed unexpectedly, with covers going viral and a record deal being made. The boys were all so excited. 

Then, they started writing. It seemed that no matter what they wrote, something was missing. Well, not the other boys’ songs. Only Owen’s. They all agreed that he needed to get a girlfriend or write something that means has feelings for once. Owen was locked up in his room for days trying to figure something out, write a damn song that meant something to him. Then, there she was, a new profile picture posted on facebook. Claire. She was gorgeous and he hadn’t thought about her in months. She was breathtaking, even after the couple of years of being away from home. 

Yet, the single moment, the one thing in his life that brought him joy was Claire. The music just happened, much as she once did. He could write song after song, words flowing so easily, he wasn’t sure what had been holding him back. Three days. He wrote an album in three days. When he showed the boys what he had, they had their jaws on the floor. They asked about what inspired him. He couldn’t explain it. So he lied, saying it was a bender and a weekend full of women. It was easier that way. 

The album was released. They went big. They started touring. Where Lightning Strikes was a worldwide band that reached so many people. Owen was shocked. 

At radio stations, they were asked to perform and in different places. Their number one hit was something that Owen first wrote. Lowery asked about it all the time, seeing as how they had known each other since they were kids. He questioned who the girl was, said names that they both knew. Lowery never asked about Claire. 

The song itself always had a way of tearing into Owen, exposing him beyond compare. He sometimes thought that maybe Claire heard the song sometimes. He never wondered if she thought it was about her. He could never be so naive. The song was called ‘The Girl That Was Never Mine’, something that took the shortest amount of time because it was all just recounting, his feelings being expressed in words he was never able to say to her.

 

_ I could invent a million lives  _

_ They would never have my heart  _

_ like you had mine  _

_ You were a miracle, grace in sway and smile  _

_ and if you say the word, I would travel all these miles  _

 

_ So, to the girl that was never mine  _

_ You forgot me, and that’s just fine  _

_ Just look back in your old memories  _

_ so you can finally see me _

_ Let me drown in all this wine _

_ Confess things and give you a sign _

_ That I’ve loved you for all this time _

_ So just say the word _

_ From the girl that was never mine. _

 

Yeah, he knew he was being transparent, but only to himself. It was easier to feel embarrassed about something then to have his best friends know it’s about a girl when grew up with. He kept it a secret, a mystery that every fan wanted to put a name to. Owen couldn’t reveal it, knowing he couldn’t do it to himself to bring her up, make Claire the centre of attention when she didn’t even know he had feelings for her for so long.

Then the interviews got tiring. A second album done and made. The second album was more collaborative, Owen not being able to write more songs, and less attention focused on who he was in love with. Yet the songs from the first album were always brought up. They wanted to know what inspired the passion, the heartache, the drive for these loves. It wasn’t until they were travelling back to Oregon, that Owen finally broke his silence. 

“I’ve never told anyone this, not even the boys,” he started, knowing he couldn’t turn around from this. “Every song on the first album, the ones written by me anyway, were all about one girl that I’ve been in love with. She doesn’t even know it’s about her.” 

“Woah, man, wait, are you serious?” Lowery whispered to him as the people in the room were suddenly gossiping. Barry and Ricky were talking amongst themselves, wondering as to what on earth was going on. 

“Yeah, I’m serious. She probably still lives here too.” Owen said and suddenly Barry and Ricky jumped on Owen, pulling their arms around him and cheering loudly.

“Dude! We need to get you this girl!” Ricky smacked his lips against Owen’s head and started to shake Owen along with Barry. Lowery was just kind of sitting there, stunned into silence. 

“She must feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now.” The interviewer remarked, trying to finish her words in between all the cheers and hollers. 

“I highly doubt that. I don’t even think she knew I existed.” Owen laughed in between his friends cheers.

 

*****

 

When Claire heard that interview on the radio, her stomach did flips. But, her hopes were squandered. How could she be so ridiculous as to think he liked her. Claire’s liking of Owen was hard to explain. She wasn’t exactly sure how it had came about, but one day in middle school, Owen smiled at her. And she was done for. Never knowing what to say, she came off as shy. Claire never spoke, rarely ever made eye contact but when he wasn’t looking, she would fawn. God, he was beautiful. Claire was utterly smitten. 

Then, college came around and they rarely saw each other, then never saw each other. Part of Claire became heartbroken because of that, yet, she felt as though she was never allowed to feel that way. Owen and Claire were never a thing, they were a missed opportunity that she was forever upset about. 

It wasn’t until Claire was midway through her business degree that she found a video of Owen and his band. Lowery, a close friend of many years, was their drummer. The cover they sang was ‘Every Breath You Take’, and Claire watched it over and over again until she fell asleep to his voice. 

Getting hung up on Owen was never Claire’s intention and it was something that became so hard to avoid when the band was getting bigger and bigger. When ‘The Girl I Never Had’ came out, it was impossible to avoid their faces. And something strange happened around the same time; Lowery started calling everyday. She was the only voice that reminded him of home without having him miss his family so terribly. 

Claire liked Lowery; he was fun and easy to tease. He didn’t mind the jabs, saying it reminded him of his little sister. He was also someone she could rant to about her job, the boring stuff and the useless staff she wanted to fire but didn’t have the time to look for new workers. Working at the Masrani company, where she was a corporate manager. Masrani put a lot of faith in Claire, asking her to accompany him to many meetings and asking her opinion on how to run things efficiently. 

Claire actually had a fair amount of time on her hands, as the things she did, she could do easily at work. She would look over paperwork if people needed her to, and it never really took long, so Claire sat on the couch with a tea as she read through them. This night, however, the radio was playing and Claire heard the news, an unexpected excitement overtook her. She was also filled with anxiety and disappointed, but she tried to focus on the excitement as Lowery called. Claire took a sip of her tea before answering. 

“Hey, Lowery, how are you doing?” she cleared her throat as an excited and overly loving background cheers were still ringing. 

“Just found out some wicked news. How are you?” he chuckled and Claire shook her head.

“Yeah, I heard the radio, you guys were going nuts.” Claire said as she heard Lowery talking away from the phone. He was yelling at Owen or someone, telling them to stop being so loud and that they would get the information out of him soon. 

“We like the idea of our Owen actually liking a girl and not fucking them at every other venue.” Lowery said, and Claire cleared her throat, an unexpected blow to her stomach. At least he was getting more action then she was. “But you didn’t answer the question.” Lowery said, catching Claire off guard.

“I’m doing alright. Work is fine.” she replied awkwardly. 

“Dating?” he asked back just as fast as her answer. 

“Hopelessly, as always.” Claire picked up her tea, drinking it a little more and wishing it wasn’t tea in her mug. 

“Are you at least getting some sex in there?” he replied and Claire really didn’t want to be drinking tea. She wanted something that would kill her if she drank too much of it. 

“This conversation was not where I wanted it to go.” Claire said sipping at her tea and getting up. She wandered over to her liquor stand, pouring the vodka into the empty mug and sipping it just slightly.

“It’s here, so answer the question.” Lowery persisted.

“Sex? Yes. Good? No.” Claire sighed, resigning back into her spot on the couch.

“Dammit, girl! We have to get you someone good, fast.” Lowery laughed and Claire sighed loudly. 

“Give a suggestion and maybe it’ll happen.” she downed some of the vodka, making sure there was still some at the bottom, just in case. 

“I can give you something better. Come to our show tomorrow night. I’ve got like three extra tickets so you can bring Vivian and Zara if you want. Bring ‘em backstage when the concert is finished.” Lowery insisted and Claire thought on it for a moment. She sighed, combing back her hair and a heavy groan escaped her.

“Fine. But if I don’t find someone cute to sleep with then I’m going to be utterly mad at you.” she said and Lowery cheered with a soft ‘yes’.

“You’re always mad at me.” he said next.

“Extra mad then.” Claire shrugged.

“Looking forward to seeing you, Dearing.” he laughed. 

“Okay, whatever. See you tomorrow night.” Claire shook her head and she heard Lowery clear his throat.

“I’ll drop the tickets off in the morning. Night my little princess.” It was a name that Lowery knew would tease and taunt Claire, one they shared since childhood, and it meant retaliation was in order. 

“Night, you hobo.” she smirked and hung up quickly. 

Claire texted the girls next. 

_ ‘We’re going to the Where Lightning Strikes concert tomorrow. Lowery invited us.’ - C _

_ ‘Cool’ - V _

_ ‘Are we going backstage?’ - Z _

_ ‘Yes’ - C _

_ ‘Then I’m there’ - Z _

Well, this should be fun. 

 

*~*~*

 

They were stuck in the most put, invisible amongst the other screaming fans. Claire, Vivian and Zara were stuck together, just waiting for the four to step out on stage. Claire was eager to see them perform, because she did really love their music, besides her bias for the band. She had favourite songs and covers that they performed from time to time. This was the first time that Claire had seen them in concert and she was excited. 

The lights went down. A slow rumble of cheers. The lights went up. There they stood, or sat in Lowery’s case. The cheers started to wail, Vivian and Zara joining in along the way. They started with a popular song, ‘Kiss Me Quick and Kiss Me Last’. Claire knew that the song was something she could relate to, because it was all she ever wanted. Pushing through her ridiculous thoughts, Claire enjoyed the song and watched Owen and the boys smile their way through the lyrics. 

Eventually, Claire could feel that the concert was finishing up, Owen and the other boys grabbing stools and slowing down the show. They started to play a familiar melody. Chasing Cars. It was the first song that Claire ever heard Owen sing. He was outside during their study period, strumming on his guitar and humming as he tried to get the right key. He found it over the course of a few weeks and when he finally had it down, Claire commented that she liked his improvement and it was a good cover. 

Claire had a soft gasp escaped her, people raising their phones or lighters as Owen started to sing. Captivated by him, Claire watched as he sung his heart out in those lyrics. At one point, Claire even saw Lowery wave at her. Maybe she wasn’t a lost face in the crowd. Claire laughed and enjoyed the concert, singing along with her favourite songs and the covers that she would sing along to in the car. 

When the show finished, Claire, Zara and Vivian all walked to the stage door near the side. They tried to wade through the mess of people, making sure someone could get noticed, and they all agreed that Claire’s hair would do the trick. They giggled over that remark. Soon, Claire was pushed to the front, Lowery waiting by the door and smiling wide when he caught a glimpse of her. 

“Hey, guys, they’re with me.” Lowery said and the security guards pulled the three forward. Lowery immediately found Claire, picking her up off her feet and chuckling a little as he rubbed his face into the crook of her neck. 

“Oh, god, stop!” Claire said, feeling his sweat soak into her skin. She cleaned herself off before she placed her hands on Lowery’s face. “Great show, Low,” she giggled as she kissed his cheek. He put his arm over her shoulder, guiding the other two girls inside. He kissed their cheeks, meeting them a couple of times before. 

“Thanks, but I’m pretty sure everyone always fawns over Owen.” Lowery commented and Claire shrugged.

“I thought you were fantastic.” she smiled brightly. 

“I know you’re lying but I love you anyway.” Lowery sighed and Claire laughed, elbowing Lowery in his side. 

“So, can we meet the band already?” Claire mentioned and Lowery rolled his eyes, guiding them through a couple of hallways and bringing them through to a large common room type of area. The boys Claire knew as Barry and Ricky sat on one couch, eating, drinking and watching some shows. Claire knew that they were supposed to go on the tour bus after the show, but they must have been holding the boys up. 

“Hey, guys, these are a couple of friends that I invited to the show,” Lowery said fondly, the girls going over to Ricky and Barry to introduce themselves. And there he was, sitting slumped into the couch with an acoustic guitar in hand. His fingers plucked delicately at the strings as he paid no attention to the welcome that Lowery gave. Owen was nearly exactly how she remembered him being in high school, suave, even when he wasn’t trying. “Owen, you remember Claire right?” Lowery asked and Owen perked up. 

He caught eye of her, as though he couldn’t quite believe it was her. Standing, Owen stared at her, almost as though he could hardly believe she was real. But, he couldn’t be thinking that. And yet, those eyes, filled with wonder and expectations that made her heart flutter, Claire indulged. Then, he smiled, like he hadn’t smiled in years. Claire smiled back and Owen almost bit at his lip. Oh, she was in trouble now. 


	2. Stay A Little Longer

Owen knew he was staring like a lovesick puppy, but he couldn’t help himself. The woman of his dreams, the woman he spent years of his life wandering back to just to feel alive - she was standing  _ right there _ . Years hadn’t done her wrong, but rather given her more beauty, if that was even possible. He felt the need to say hi, the word - so simple - caught in his throat. The courage finally came, Lowery interrupted, watching Owen the entire time. Owen was shaken out of his world and he watched Lowery.

“Ah, Claire can you talk to Ricky and Barry for a sec. They’re lovely, I promise,” he said, clapping Owen on the back.

“Oh, alright,” Claire smiled. Owen watched Claire the entire time he was walking out the door, Lowery pushing him, had an angry hand and fast pace. They were past two doors, and finally, Lowery shoved him.

“What the hell man?” Owen chuckled. 

“Claire is the girl,” Lowery pestered and Owen’s brow crinkled. He had to play dumb.

“What?” 

“You looked at her differently,” Lowery said. Owen swallowed, scratching at her forehead.

“She’s....she’s a woman for one thing, that’s always nice,” he shrugged.

“Owen, man, don’t lie to me,” Lowery said sternly and Owen huffed. He tucked his hands to his hips before looking down at his feet. 

“It’s always been Claire.” That’s all he needed to say. That’s all he ever wanted. And he was ashamed to say so.

Lowery shook his head, almost as though he was contemplating the entire time they had all known each other. “But you two never -” 

“I didn’t think she liked me at all. I still don’t think she likes me,” Owen chimed. Lowery shook his head in confusion once more.

“And you’re still holding onto her?” he questioned and Owen sighed, folding his arms. 

“I don’t know. Lowery, do you think I wanted to get hung up on someone that doesn’t want me? Why the fuck do you think I get drunk after every other show and try to hook up with women. I’m trying to forget her, not stay hung up on her,” he complained and rubbed at the ridge of his nose.

“Owen, you have to tell her,” Lowery told him and Owen shot his attention back to his friend. 

“...I,” Owen stopped himself before he shook his head. “I can’t.” 

“Man, stop living in your goddamn head and do something with your life,” Lowery protested and Owen shook his head. He wasn’t ready for this all to change just yet.

“Lowery, stop pushing me. I’m warning you,” Owen said forcefully and Lowery pounded on Owen’s chest.

“I want you to be happy and you can have it now, just -” 

“I said fuck off, alright!” Owen shouted back. 

“Is everything okay?” A sweet voice asked. Lowery and Owen both snapped their attention to Claire, her brow crinkled. Lowery and Owen stepped away from each other. 

“I’ve got to go,” Owen said to Lowery, pushing his chest once. Lowery almost retorted but as Owen’s jaw clenched, Lowery shook his head and stormed back to where everyone else was. “It was good seeing you again, Claire,” Owen nodded before heading out the back. Owen was greeted by screams from fans, flashing of cameras and the overwhelming notion that he was being watched. He waved absently before sneaking around to corner of the venue, just trying to have a moment alone. 

Finding his back against the wall and out of sight from wanting fans, Owen reached into his pocket, pulling out the cigarettes he hid. Placing the cigarette between his teeth, he found his lighter, flicking it quickly to light the end. Taking in a deep puff, he held it for a moment, sighing it back out. It was bitter in his mouth and he loathed the smell still. A guilty pleasure that resulted in no pleasure whatsoever. 

“Owen,” Claire’s voice called to him. He looked down the alley, focusing on her and the way she moved. 

“Shit,” he muttered to himself. He let the cigarette go out against the brick wall behind him. Claire’s hips swayed as he wander to him, her hair bouncing on her shoulders and she hitched her purse onto her shoulder again.

“I didn’t know you smoked. Would've thought you’d hate to do that,” she remarked, smiling slightly before she leaned against the same wall as him. 

“I needed to get the edge off. I don’t do it a lot, but I’ve got it handy if I argue with Lowery. I hate arguing with Lowery.” Owen chuckled, breathing into his hand slightly, trying to see how badly he smelled of smoke. It only took the one to reek of the smoke. 

“Then, why did you?” Claire asked, not prying, but rather to console. 

“It’s complicated,” Owen shook his head. It felt like the years had gone by easily, the pressure to talk to Claire was off. He was an adult now, he should be able to do this just fine. “I haven’t seen you in years,” Owen said, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“A long time,” Claire agreed. Her hand touched against his chest briefly as she smiled to him. “Congratulations on the success. Lowery tells me all about it,” she laughed and Owen rubbed the back of his neck.

“You’re close with Lowery?” he asked. 

“One of my best friends, really,” she replied.

“I should let you get back to him. I know you don’t like me very much,” Owen said, looking down at his feet and licking his lips. 

“Lowery will be fine. Just needs to vent a little on his own,” Claire sighed, then sharply cleared her throat. “Wait, who said I don’t like you?” she asked. Owen looked up at her again, her brow crinkled. Owen shrugged at the look. 

“Well, you were always kind of cold to me in school, and whenever we were left alone, you kind of just shut down. I took that as ‘I don’t like you very much’,” he explained. Claire gave a soft chuckle, almost as though she was embarrassed by her behaviour. 

“Oh, no, it was just, I wasn’t sure what to say to you and,” she stopped herself, tucking the wavy locks of hair behind her ear. Sher hair was longer than high school, though it was still short - she was elegant and beautiful still.  “High school was weird. We’re grown up now and things have changed,” she shrugged, sighing as she hitched her purse again. Owen licked at his lips again, seeing if for one second he could stop getting so involved in his head and he could let himself live. 

“Claire, do you want to have dinner tomorrow night? Catch up and stuff?” he asked, holding onto the edge of his breath. Claire giggled, tucking hair behind her ear again and nodding. 

“Yeah, it’ll be great to catch up with you when Lowery doesn’t want to bite your head off,” she said, grabbing hold of his arm, hooking her own around it and leading him back towards backstage. 

“True,” he laughed. When he came back around to the door, the fans were still around, yelling and screaming to him. He waved again as Claire went ahead inside, and Owen kept waving to the crowd, smiling fondly to them all. Glancing back, he raced back inside, following Claire and walking by her side. 

When they were reaching the end of the hall, Owen heard Lowery shouted his lungs out, arguing with the other people in the room. Or, you know, at least shouting at them. “I’m gonna kill that ass hat! Where the fuck is he?!” he bellowed, Owen and Claire stifling a laugh on the other side of the door. Claire walked through the door first, going to her friend. 

“Hey, calm down,” Claire said, charging through the door, laying her hands on Lowery’s chest. Owen laughed at the sight. Lowery’s brow crinkled as Claire giggled to Owen over her shoulder. 

“Woah, since when were you all buddy buddy?” he asked sharply.  

“We’re catching up to see if we can be buddies,” Owen shrugged, finding his way to Lowery’s side and locking his head tightly in his arm. “Come here man!” Owen laughed, pulling Lowery along with him. When Owen looked down at his friend, he gave a reluctant smile before it turned real. 

“Asshole,” Lowery commented, jabbing Owen in the ribs. Owen took a tight hold of Lowery, pulling him with him as he collapsed down onto the couch.

“Yeah, yeah,” Owen remarked, as Lowery laughed and pushed Owen off of him. Owen took the shoulder of the couch, enjoying the comfort of it and he watched Claire walk to a spot on the opposite sofa. She bit her lip, tucking her hair behind her ear and took her spot. They all sat around for a few hours, talking and laughing about life and what they had all been up to. 

When the night finally came to an end, Owen and the boys just headed to their homes or the hotel. Owen remembered waving goodbye to Claire as they all gathered inside a cab. He hadn’t remembered a night alone in a very long time and it felt great to just have a night to himself and he wasn’t cursing himself until he fell asleep. He fell asleep with hope in his heart. 

Owen fixed his leather jacket over his dark blue button up shirt. It wasn’t a date. He shouldn’t have been nervous. Never once had he been nervous about a date. Why the fuck was he nervous? He hated everything he was doing. He sighed, leaning his forehead against his mirror and wishing he wasn’t a complete jackass for asking a girl out he had been hung up on and wrote an entire album on. 

Getting into his car, he drove to Claire’s place, walking to her door and knocking politely. It only took a few moments to have Claire opening the door. She smiled brightly to him as she pinned her earring in. Gracing his presence, she was in a tight fitting black dress that flared out at her hips. She grabbed a denim jacket, pulling her arms into it before she finally came out her front door.

“Hi,” he chimed quickly as she locked her door. Claire turned and smiled back to him.

“Hi,” she said, her cheeks full and made him feel nervous. Claire tucked her keys into her purse, walking ahead of Owen. 

“You got a place in mind?” he said, catching up with her.

“George’s diner,” she suggested confidently and Owen nearly cheered right there.

“That place is still around?” he asked, his excitement unmistakeable in his voice. 

“Yeah and they make George’s old hamburgers,” Claire giggled slightly.

“The ones with the Jalapeños? I loved those!” Owen skipped a step and Claire laughed, rushing towards his car with him. 

“Well, get a move on!” she ordered him and he got into the front seat, driving them to the old diner that held so many memories.  

When the drove up, it was still the same, kind of run down but repaired a few more times to keep it up right. Owen and Claire walked inside and found a table in the corner. They both realised being unseen would be a fun idea and keep people away from them, just so they could have the night to themselves. The waitress came and took their order, meaning they had time to talk. And they did. They joked and talked about their lives, the sad stuff avoided when one bad memory came up for either of them. 

The burgers came and Owen indulged, eating his heart out. “This is just like I remembered it,” he moaned into his burger again and Claire snorted, laughing at how he must have looked. 

“George never changes,” she replied, setting her burger down to take a sip of her drink. 

“Thank god for that,” Owen smiled, licking the edge of his lips.

“Any new songs?” Claire asked and Owen’s brow crinkled, a little surprised. 

“You listen?” 

“Since high school,” Claire nodded and Owen bit his lip, trying to think of what to say, but nothing really came to mind - he was just confused. 

“I don’t follow…” 

Claire laughed before her foot kicked at his shin slightly. It wasn’t hard, but enough to nudge him. “Chasing Cars. I heard you sing it in high school. I even told you that it was good!” That’s when the memory came back. How he could have forgotten, he’d never know. She was shy, holding her books to her chest, avoiding his eye. She told him he was good - it made him want to keep singing. 

“Oh, my god. I completely forgot,” he exclaimed, cleaning his mouth with his napkin. Claire leaned over the table slightly.

“So, any new stuff?” she said in a hushed voice. Owen smiled as she beamed in excitement. 

“Yeah, but it’s under wraps right now,” he said, winking to her. 

“You won’t spill, even to a high school friend?” she shrugged.

“Art is a bitch, Claire. I rarely show my stuff to anyone. It kills me to share it with the boys,” Owen shrugged back, sighing as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Really?” she said, crossing her arms. 

“Well, that stuff is personal,” he shrugged again. 

“What the name of your next song? Just a little hint, come on,” she fluttered her eyelashes and Owen caved. 

“Fixated,” he blissfully sighed.

“Fixated? Sounds interesting,” she said, biting the edge of her lip. As her brow crinkled, it seemed as though she was questioning the song and what it was about. Owen felt nervous. “Are you going to sing it to the girl in town you liked?” she asked finally. 

“Maybe. Depends if she wants to see me,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Who wouldn’t want to see you, Owen?” she said sweetly and Owen felt his chest pounding. 

“Good question,” he muttered to himself. He wasn’t nervous anymore, he knew he could talk to Claire, and he wanted to see if he could do this one thing. “Hey, so. Are you doing anything tomorrow?” 

“No. Why?” she shook her head.

“I’ll come and get you and take you somewhere nice,” he said, reaching for his burger again. “And by that I mean, you’re going to hear me play music,” he laughed and Claire giggled along with him. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to ask me out,” Claire said, reaching for her own burger. Owen stopped, before smirking over to Claire.

“But you know me, Claire. I wouldn’t dare ask you out unless I knew for sure,” he winked and bit into his burger. 

“Well, you should have,” Claire muttered and Owen looked up in surprise. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said with a mouth full of food. Claire chuckled lightly.

“You really should have asked more questions in high school,” she replied. Owen swallowed and shrugged. 

“Probably why I became a musician,” he said and Claire snorted again, turning into a full on laugh. She was drawing attention and she tried to stop it by covering her mouth but it was a look that had Owen feeling weightless - she was beautiful and undeniably stunning with her personality.

They finished up their dinner, going back to her place. Owen had a small moment where he wanted to walk her to her door, for this to feel like a real date - but he shoved that moment away, he wasn’t allowed to indulge in that part of himself. Claire was a friend and that’s all he wanted. He wanted to talk to her, to be comfortable with her when he hid himself away from everyone else. 

“Tonight was fun,” Claire said sighing, the car finally coming to a stop in front of her house. “Thanks for taking me out,” she smiled over to him. 

“I had a great time,” Owen chimed, watching Claire get out of the car and hold onto the car door. She sighed, content like and smiling at him. 

“I’ll be by tomorrow. I promise,” she said, shutting the car door behind her. Owen watched her get into her door, her little wave before she closed it behind her. Owen cheered in his car, jumping up and down in his seat. When he accidentally let his weight press into his horn, he was spooked into driving off. He chuckled as he left. He was getting a chance to get closer to her in anyway he could. He didn’t care - he just wanted her in his life. 

Owen told Claire the address of the studio, meeting her there. He was tuning his guitar when he heard her voice coming into the studio, marvelling at the pictures and the little studios where other musicians had worked before. Owen put down his guitar, rushing to find her in the hallway. He waved over to her and she skipped making her way to him faster.

“This is amazing,” she beamed. He took her into the little studio he had for the hour, no one else there, just putting some things down so he could come back to it with the rest of the band. Rehearsing things always helped. Owen found his guitar, putting it back into its case when Claire gasped. “Oh my god, is that a custom Gibson Les Paul?” she asked, taking the guitar from Owen’s hand.

“You know your guitars,” he said, astonished by her. 

“My dad did,” she remarked, looking down at the guitar. “He wanted one of these, the  _ exact _ colour and everything,” she remarked.

“She plays like a dream,” he replied and Claire sighed blissfully, handing the guitar back to him.

“I bet,” she said.

“Just..uh, sit there,” Owen said, guiding her to a stool nearby. Taking his acoustic, he strummed, to make sure it was playing alright. It was and he could deal with that for now. “No one else has heard this yet, so I’m laying myself bare here,” he told her and Claire leaned forward, listening intently. 

“Got it,” she nodded encouragingly. Owen took in a tight breath before exhaling and beginning to play the song. He started slow before he got more confident and played and sang, a comfortable sensation. 

 

_ “I’m fixated _

_ With the way your hips move _

_ Mind tainted _

_ With the beautiful thoughts of you _

_ And I’m lost in that look you give to me _

_ Just say the word I’ll get on my knees  _

_ So, I’m anticipatin’  _

_ and completely  _

_ Fixated”  _

 

Owen gave a few more strums as he looked over to Claire. He took a breath, waiting for her reply to it all. It took a moment, a few nods and then a vague shrug. “Nice start,” she smiled and Owen’s brow furrowed. 

“Nice start? You’re going with nice?” he said, laughing slightly and Claire shook her head.

“I don’t know, you seem like you like this person, but there’s no depth to it,” she gestured, like she was trying to find it in the air, but she couldn’t quite grasp his feelings in the song. 

“What?” he exclaimed and Claire shrugged.

“Well, you like this girl don’t you?” she asked and Owen nodded. “Then why does it seem like you can’t write a word about her?” she questioned him again and Owen’s jaw clenched.

“Because then I’d be talking about her and I wouldn’t be able to stop. Plus, I think she’d read into the lyrics too much,” he said, putting his guitar against the stool he was sitting on and started to pace. He felt cornered. And he knew she was going to keep pressing it. She got up, interrupted his walk and stood politely in front of him. 

“Well, come on, let me help you. Who was she so maybe I can help you along with your efforts,” Claire suggested, smiling brightly. 

“No. It’s okay,” he shook his head, chest beating a mile a minute. 

“Owen, come on, it’s just me,” Claire laughed and Owen broke. 

“That’s the problem,” he blurted out and looked back at Claire. She took in a sharp breath, her mouth open in shock.

“Oh,” she let the same breath out. The room was still and they were just looking at each other.


	3. Heart Wants To Feel The Beat Of One More Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cause i can’t finish anything, here’s this shit. have fun.

_ You're alive in your dreams _ __  
_ But in person you can't move _ __  
_ Swallowed by the sea of people _ __  
_ Analyzing you _ __  
_ And it's a little bit hard _ __  
_ To not lose sight _ __  
_ When you're fighting all day _ _  
_ __ To let it out all night

They didn’t even move, they didn’t stop staring at each other until Claire finally broke her eyes from his and stepped back. She covered her mouth ashamedly. Her hands raced over her head, combing back the hair in her face and Owen watched as the realisation was setting in. He knew he shouldn’t have - knew that breaking this news to her was a fucking mistake, but he let his longing take over. And regret was setting into his bones. He hated himself for doing this. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Claire said, letting out shaky breaths and trying to meet Owen’s eye but failing repeatedly. She was going to start rambling in a minute, her rapid breathing was telling him as much. “And I kept pushing and it was supposed to be harmless and I -”

“Claire, it’s okay,” he assured her.

“Owen, you said so yourself, you wrote an entire album after me,” she exclaimed, her hands still remaining on her head. 

“Claire it’s -” 

Claire scoffed. “I didn’t know it was about me! I mean, I wanted it to be, but to think it was -” 

Owen’s brow furrowed, catch Claire’s arm. “What did you just say?” Claire suddenly looked up to Owen, her face slowly shifting as she was realising what she said.

“Huh?” she shook her head and Owen huffed.

“You said you wanted it to be you?” he asked. Then, Claire pulled from his grasp, staggering backwards and knowing she had said more than she should have. Claire picked up her purse, tucking her hair behind her ear and hurrying out of the studio. Owen let out a shaky breath, knowing that everything was changed.

Owen wandered back to his hotel room, the shaking in his hand something he didn’t understand - was he nervous or scared at what he had done? But then same phrase played over in his head  _ ‘I wanted it to be’ _ . Claire had said it in the middle of her rambling, had said with without a second thought or question. Owen stopped at the base of his bed - the trip there a constant question on what had happened or what this all meant. Owen realised fully; Claire wanted him too. He groaned, collapsing down onto his bed, his hands on his face. 

But, why did she run off? Why did she leave him like that? 

Why was he so repulsive to her in that moment? 

Then, he realised. Wanted. She  _ wanted _ . Not want, or need - it was a passing fancy, a teenage crush or something that must have been years old and forgotten. Owen withering in his bed, angry and frustrated and ultimately - sad. He was sad that he gave up the only good thing he held in his heart, but sad that he had never done this before, let his heart get carried away with her. He was selfish, and he was beginning to realise how much. 

Going to sleep, he hated himself more for everything he had done - the constant holding onto something that was not worth it. He wasn’t worth her, especially now and he knew it. They both did. And he hated himself. 

The next morning, Owen spent hours trying to find something to get him through this; to get his heart out of the weak and fragile state. He deserved to get over this, to stop an infatuation that he had no right in having. God, how did he get so swept up in it? Why did he let himself fall so deeply when he could have forgotten her and lived a life? But she was there, in the corner of his mind, reminding him that he could be happy. 

Strumming his guitar and writing down the chords to match with the lyrics he was singing, he got a call on his phone. He quickly tried to finish up that section before rushing to his phone. He saw it was Lowery and answered it quickly. “Hey, where are you?” he asked. Owen looked around his hotel room, the scattered or torn pages of failed songs and the random papers in front of him that told the entire story of his almost finished work.

“Sorry, I was working on a song all morning,” Owen replied, scratching the back of his neck

“Well, come on, we’re at lunch with Claire and the girls,” Lowery said, and a part of Owen’s heart sank. He sighed before standing, knowing full well Lowery wouldn’t leave this alone. 

“I’ll be there in ten,” he sighed. 

“I expect to hear this new song, tonight, okay?” Lowery said, a few voices in the background, laughing and conversing amongst themselves. 

“Will do,” Owen replied, hanging up quickly. Piling all his papers together, Owen quickly changed and headed out. 

He was lucky that no one noticed him this time around, but going out anywhere could be a really stressful experience. Owen found the little restaurant, creeping inside and waving to the group of people at the table. Claire turned around, tucking hair behind her ear and not meeting Owen’s eyes. Owen smiled to everyone before he came behind Claire, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Can we talk?” he whispered. Claire turned before standing. 

“Sure,” she nodded, taking hold of his arm and guiding them outside for a more private conversation. They found a little gap between the restaurant and the building next door, which thankfully didn’t smell terrible. Claire waited for a moment and Owen sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay with you not -” 

“Not what?” she interrupted, and Owen’s brow furrowed. “Owen, I didn’t walk out because I don’t like you. I do. You pined from afar. I pined because you were always here,” she explained. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I was scared. I still am,” she chuckled nervously. 

“Of what?” 

Claire combed her hand through her hair, shifting her weight onto her opposite hip. “You haven’t seen me in years. You’ve built up this idea of me in your head and I don’t think I can match up to it.” 

“You can,” he smiled.

“I don’t want to,” she snapped. “I’m not going to try to. You can decide now. Forget that girl you knew then and take me or live a fantasy dream. Because I’m in this. I don’t want you to keep pining for her when I’m standing right in front of you,” she gestured, standing her ground, a strong and resilient woman. 

He smiled wider, though he was just giddy and needed not to laugh. “I pined for a girl. But you’re a woman. I’m not going to pine for you when you’re amazing right in front of me,” he replied, biting at his lip. 

Claire scoffed, shaking her head. “You don’t even know me. How can you say you’d still want me?” 

“You’re still  _ you _ . Older. More changed. But you’re you,” he gave a blissful sigh. Claire let out a shaky breath, as though the idea of falling for every version of her was impossible. It was definitely possible. 

A whistle came nearby, and they both turned to see Lowery. “Hey guys! Lunch is here!” he called and Claire went ahead first. Owen gave out a frustrated sigh; every time he thought he was getting somewhere, she pushes a distance between them. It was time to just give it up. Time to forget it for good. Don’t try to win over a woman who doesn’t want your attention anymore. She doesn’t want you to be in love with who she was, but who she is. And in her eyes, you’ll always see her as who she was.

The lunch went on as normal, Claire and Owen didn’t speak, and mainly because he avoided any conversations with her. There was just a part of him that felt ashamed, that he was abusing a friendship or misreading everything they had been through. He didn’t deserve to talk to her yet, not until he was over her - it was the only thing he could do for her sake. 

The boys said goodbye, heading back to the hotel, Owen managed to finish up most of the song - unsure of the other aspects and instruments. He could play the acoustic, he could feel his soul being poured into it, but it was stripped back to its bare essentials, and it needed something more, just to break hearts. But Owen didn’t want to think about that now. 

The next day, the boys all went out, having an interview with local radio station. The boys had a bit of an interview before they were getting ready to set up for their little show. Owen placed half his headphones on before he turned to see Lowery beaming from the drums and Barry smirking to Ricky. 

“So, where’s this new song Lowery was telling us about,” Barry asked. 

“It’s not finished,” Owen said, adjusting the tuning pegs on some of the strings. 

“Come on dude, share something with us,” Ricky badgered. Owen groaned, rubbing at his brow.

“Fine,” he sighed. 

“On air again in a few minutes, guys,” a member of the station told them. They all nodded before Owen grabbed the acoustic guitar, setting down his electric for a minute. 

“I’ll just sing some of it okay?” 

 

_ “She’s standing right there, _

_ mind at ease  _

_ graceful and  _

_ beautiful  _

_ she’s like a soft dream  _

_ in every way  _

_ I can’t believe it  _

_ and I’ve forgotten what to say _

 

_ And now it’s all gone,  _

_ blow apart  _

_ by my selfish heart  _

_ It’s all gone _

_ what’s left of me? _

_ a broken man  _

_ with broken dreams _

_ Can’t try to win her back _

_ Won’t try to win her back  _

_ ‘cause she’s not mine _

_ and that’s just fine _

 

_ She’s standing right here,  _

_ looking at me _

_ and I’m lost in her soft dream  _

_ I can’t remember what to say _

_ she can’t remember me this way  _

_ I’m a mess and she’s perfect  _

_ and it’s about time that she’s knows it”  _

 

Owen finished, waiting for the boys reaction and they all had furrowed brows. “Did it suck?” he asked and Ricky shook his head. 

“Just didn’t quite expect that man. It’s great,” he confirmed just as the member of the show came back into the room. Owen set down the acoustic once more and picked up his electric. 

“You’re on guys. It’s a livestream, so it’s up on Youtube and on the radio,” she said and Owen and the boys nodded. Owen finished tuning before the radio host start speaking to them again.

 

*****

 

Claire watched the livestream, telling Lowery that she’d watch. She’d sat patiently through the first half of the interview, noticing that Owen wasn’t talking as much, but he deflected all questions asked about the girl from the album. Claire felt guilty for that - for not having said anything at the restaurant. She could have told him that she’d give them a shot, let them try, but she remained silent and scared. Why did relationships always make her so damn scared. 

Then, the interview shifted into the performance section, the livestreaming going up and the boys stood waiting to play their instruments. “So, guys, what have you got for us today?” the radio host asked. 

“Well, Owen just sang us a new song that’s insane but we don’t all know it yet,” Lowery leaned forward into the mic and Claire bit at her lip.

“So instead, we’re playing you The Chain,” Owen quickly chimed. 

“Take it away!” the radio host hollered before Lowery started to create the beat and Ricky played the opening intro with an acoustic guitar. He added his vocals behind Owen’s and Barry’s. The entire band soon joined in, creating an amazing cover of the song. Then, it broke down to the final minutes of the song, Barry plucking the bass beautifully to create the ominous sounds before Owen came in, charging with the electric guitar. The boys all began hooping and hollering, including Owen as they all became amped by the music. They began harmonizing, singing the song with every last big of passion they had left in them. They eventually played out to the cheers of the radio hosts and the band. 

Claire sighed, watching in awe. Then, she knew what she had to do. An hour past before Claire finally managed to gain the courage to dial his number. She called, waiting for the line to go unanswered, just so she could leave a message. But, he picked up. 

“Hey,” he said simply. “Everything okay?”

Claire hesitated for a moment before she blurted “Take me on a date.” 

The line was silent before Owen chuckled. “Are you asking me out?” 

“I am,” Claire replied with a soft little laugh. “What do you say, Grady?” 

“Yes,” his answer was quick. “God, yes.”


End file.
